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| Chaos Photo courtesy of Spokane Community College |
Excerpt from original post (part one):
Queen Sophia Charlotte had what I consider to be a serious
character flaw, and if I’m not careful this discussion about my shift in
priorities could leave you thinking that I’m prone to the same serious flaw. In
fact, the truth is that I am, and you very likely are, too. I hope that by
bringing this issue into the light we will diminish its power and see a clear
path to take in detour toward true freedom....
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| Sophia Charlotte with Her Children Photo courtesy of NCGenWeb |
Lest I become guilty of the
very thing I’m highlighting, I must say that I am so very grateful my radius of
people for which to set an example is far smaller than hers was. In case you
aren’t tracking with me here, the character flaw I’m speaking of is critical
judgment based on a high moral standard. To put it into modern language, she
looked down her nose at others who did not think or act the same as she did. As
I mentioned in my earlier post, I have been struggling with a bit of writer’s
block approaching this post. I think I’m beginning to understand a bit more
why....
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| Sophia with Child Photo courtesy of Forgotten Founders Exhibit |
So the source of my
writer’s block is this duel between judgment and affability, stinginess and
generosity, public and personal life. Hmmm…and here we find our link to the
“perfection disease” I posted about on Monday.
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| Tiara and Combs Photo courtesy of Jane Austen World |
Truthfully, I sincerely wish we had more women in high position
making domestic duties fashionable. Though it has become more fashionable to be
a mother, most of us stay-at-home moms still search for our identities in what
we do instead of who we are. Herein lies the problem with the mother of a
nation, or any such role model, setting such high standards. I will not repeat
the article I posted before, but I draw attention to the disease of perfection
here. None of us are perfect and by setting any kind of standard of perfection
without allowing for grace and mercy for ourselves as well as for others, we
set ourselves up for living for other peoples’ approval, ever striving for more
and better, looking down on others for what we think is going on in their
lives, and looking down on ourselves because we will always offend ourselves if
we are offended by others....
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| Balance Photo courtesy of Motivate Thyself |
(part two, originally published 10/06/10)
Today, I know that my tiara is sparkling firmly upon my head not
because of what I have or haven’t done, but because I’m happy to be me doing
what I’m doing right here and now. Instead of bracing himself for my hasty
exit, my husband smiles when he walks in the door because he knows I’m going to
be happy to see him because I missed him and not because I’m eager for him to
take over with the kids so I can escape. My kids are happy, and they fill the
air with far more joyful noises and dancing than angry words and fighting. I no
longer find myself counting down the minutes so I can leave them and do
something for myself....
Despite its negative overtones, I think this is the most important
lesson I’ve learned from Sophia in these past couple of months. It is clear
that she was firmly grounded in her life as a mother and a wife. She did not
look to her public life or image to make her happy. Certainly she took her
public role seriously, but she drew her strength from being with her husband
and family. I want to take this lesson of drawing my strength from serving my
family first, but without the excessive piety, judgment, and stinginess that
marked her life. By putting first things first, I’m certain I will be free to
be myself everywhere I am, thereby transferring this joy and strength to others
far more effectively than when I was serving others as a means of escape.
